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  #1  
Old 03-02-2008, 04:35 AM
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76f350spercamprspeal 76f350spercamprspeal is offline
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Talking Got any good Chevy jokes???

Hi I was wondering got any good chevy jokes? Here are all mine:

Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope

Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys

Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15
seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.

Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said,
"I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.

Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?

Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.

Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.

Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.

Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
shop

Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?

Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his Chevy into the shop

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his Silverado got stuck.

Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.

CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques

CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.

CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.

CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.

CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.

CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually
Towed

CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

GMC= Garage Man's Companion

GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company

GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming

GMC= Gay Mans Chariot

GM= General Mistake

GM= Glued Metal

GM – Mark of Ignorance

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with
me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the
sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and
I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned
and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.

From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.

Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"

Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.

Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.

I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.

Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.

You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit
and rust in a stream.

A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!

Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of cr@p

"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
__________________
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'00 Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer 4x4, 5.4 Triton, Loaded (Grandpa's)
'76 F-350 Super Camper Special, 390 FE, Factory 4-Speed, 3.73s, Dana 70 Rear.
'94 F-150 XLT Super-Cab Shortbed, Dual Tanks, 5.0 302ci V8, E4OD Auto, Blue Interior,
Tinted Windows, Keyless Entry & Alarm, Power Everything, Bedliner (Daily Driver)

Previously Owned: '67 F-250, 69 F-250, '77 F-350, '74 F-250 SC
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Old 03-02-2008, 07:21 AM
RJR99SS RJR99SS is offline
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Not an official joke, but i had a camaro with a 350 in it. I'd take it to car shows and stuff all the time, and i cant count how many times some "chevy guy" would come up and ask what engine i had in it.

I'd say "A 350".

They'd say "big block or small block?"
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  #3  
Old 03-02-2008, 09:42 AM
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kuzzins27 kuzzins27 is offline
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I hear ya RJR, if only I had a nickel every time some idiot argued that my 360 is a Dodge engine...

***

GMC = God’s Mechanical Curse

CHEVROLET = Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

"Those who say they would rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford usually do."
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  #4  
Old 03-02-2008, 04:44 PM
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1Fordnatic 1Fordnatic is offline
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GMC=General Mess of Crap!!
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  #5  
Old 03-02-2008, 05:26 PM
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Hey c'mon guys I've a 69 GMC 1/2 ton that I've owned for 33 years.
The biggest complaint is fouling plugs but Ford valve seals fixed that
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  #6  
Old 03-02-2008, 06:06 PM
lisagoud lisagoud is offline
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Those of you who would rather push a Chevy then drive a Ford, usually do!
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  #7  
Old 03-02-2008, 06:18 PM
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voltson voltson is offline
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This one is funny...

http://cgi.ebay.ca/Chevrolet-C-K-Pic...QQcmdZViewItem
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  #8  
Old 03-02-2008, 06:35 PM
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I realize that this is a FORD forum,BUT I have NEVER been left on the side of the road in ANY CHEVY or FORD. I understand your love for the make,but bash an import. I just find bashing quite tacky. JMO
-Lance
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  #9  
Old 03-02-2008, 06:41 PM
78shorty 78shorty is offline
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Chevy is a joke in itself
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  #10  
Old 03-02-2008, 06:48 PM
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masterbeavis masterbeavis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by voltson
I would not want to advertise that my truck was used for the filming of brokeback mountain.
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  #11  
Old 03-02-2008, 08:23 PM
whd507 whd507 is offline
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I'm a ford guy, but I love chevys, but again, I also sell auto parts for a living.
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Old 03-02-2008, 08:44 PM
Towinghondas Towinghondas is offline
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GMC
Got My Chevy
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  #13  
Old 03-02-2008, 10:39 PM
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crazyredneckanyhow crazyredneckanyhow is offline
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Ever heard the phrase"The problem with Ford is circled on the grille?" Well my respnse to that is to say" Its not a circle its an oval.And if you didnt pass kindergarten to know your shapes then how can i value your opinion of what a good vehicle is." Stops Chevy guys in their tracks.
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Old 03-02-2008, 10:43 PM
crescentwrencher crescentwrencher is offline
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yuck!!! gross, thank God its not a ford!



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Old 03-03-2008, 03:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masterbeavis
I would not want to advertise that my truck was used for the filming of brokeback mountain.
I agree, I would not mention that movie,unless youre into the pitchin-catchin thing.
But hey it is a nice truck.
-Lance
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:20 AM
 
 
 
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