Night Before Christmas
#1
12-23-2007, 05:26 PM
Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christams - and all I could think:
If I eat all of this stuff, my GOODNESS how I'll stink...
Onions, and garlic - brought on to a boil....
Boston baked beans, and turkey simmering in oils...
And look over yonder - those potatoes in gravy!
Sure looks to me like what I ate in the NAVY...
But now we bring on the good cheer from the locker
Amstel, and Grolsche, and the liquor that comes after.
Behind it baked beans, and the candied whatevers...
I feel a great pressure, that might lift up the rafters!
So out into the yard, I fear I must go
-For the boiling turmoil I feel down below
How to express it? GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!
Some of us deserve to survive this today...
A blonde seaking advice wishes to bar my way...
Do you really think my hair looks just right in this way?
I tell her I'll think about it, and forge further on -
God help me beyond her stands the new bosses son!
Have you seen her? Yes I have! And she's right down that way...
Now get out from around me, you'll be glad of it I pray!
Almost to the outdoors, almost outside...
BUT NO! The gas pressure will not be denied!!!
A WHOOF! And WHOOSH! and I make it to the door
Rolling the last fifteen feet on the floor!
Barely I stand, and turn around to the site -
All of the guests are bidding themselves a good night.
Some of them greenish, and some of them blue
(I confess I was holding my own breath too)
Gradually outwardly all of them follered, until my beloved was heard to yell:
"HOWARD??!?"
(Post has nothing to do with Lariat97)
(really)
(I promise...)
If I eat all of this stuff, my GOODNESS how I'll stink...
Onions, and garlic - brought on to a boil....
Boston baked beans, and turkey simmering in oils...
And look over yonder - those potatoes in gravy!
Sure looks to me like what I ate in the NAVY...
But now we bring on the good cheer from the locker
Amstel, and Grolsche, and the liquor that comes after.
Behind it baked beans, and the candied whatevers...
I feel a great pressure, that might lift up the rafters!
So out into the yard, I fear I must go
-For the boiling turmoil I feel down below
How to express it? GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!
Some of us deserve to survive this today...
A blonde seaking advice wishes to bar my way...
Do you really think my hair looks just right in this way?
I tell her I'll think about it, and forge further on -
God help me beyond her stands the new bosses son!
Have you seen her? Yes I have! And she's right down that way...
Now get out from around me, you'll be glad of it I pray!
Almost to the outdoors, almost outside...
BUT NO! The gas pressure will not be denied!!!
A WHOOF! And WHOOSH! and I make it to the door
Rolling the last fifteen feet on the floor!
Barely I stand, and turn around to the site -
All of the guests are bidding themselves a good night.
Some of them greenish, and some of them blue
(I confess I was holding my own breath too)
Gradually outwardly all of them follered, until my beloved was heard to yell:
"HOWARD??!?"
(Post has nothing to do with Lariat97)
(really)
(I promise...)
Last edited by Greywolf; 12-23-2007 at 05:37 PM.
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