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  #1  
Old 06-30-2007, 01:59 PM
oldfart oldfart is offline
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O.K....so mebbe it wasn't a good idea....

Well now folks forgive my absence of late. I'm working long hours and time is not my friend. Anyways..let me also explain...(big sigh)...I am a most frugal man. I don't cotton much to waste. (another big sigh) And so this tale. I returned from my trip to Alaska recently and one of the treasures I brought back was a humongous big King Salmon that I caught myself down in Ship Creek! Yup..there is a SHIP Creek..right in downtown Anchorage, Alaska! Now since it was late in my trip I simply froze this behemouth up WHOLE! Gutted of course..but still 32 inches of silver-sided beauty and destined to be cut up into purty salmon steaks for on my grill. About 25lbs. of salmon slabs....mmmmm! Now today me and Big Brother Art decided to whack this baby into steaks..not filets..steaks. We wrassled the piscatorial (fish) delight out of the freezer and discussed how to best go about this job since it (the fish) was frozen as hard as my 1st. ex-wifes heart! The chainsaw got the first nod...declined due to the bar-oil contaminating the fish. The circular saw didn't have enough depth of cut. The neighbor wouldn't let me use his bandsaw. Then we had an epiphany! (that's a really great idea) The Saw-Zall! Yes folks..not much says manliness as a Milwaulkee Saw-Zall with a stonkin' big 12in. 6t.p.i. blade hanging from it! Clad in bibbs and aprons...clutching the appropriate power tool and a handy Black & Decker Work-Mate bench..we was in business! Now I don't know how many of ya'll have ever attempted to hold down a frozen 3ft. long salmon on a Work-Mate and wail away at it with a Saw-Zall...not many I'd wager...but here's a few tips. First off..do any of ya'll have cats? Tip # 1....sawing a huge salmon into useable sections is a helluva lot harder if ya got to keep flicking felines off the workbench and avoid stepping on them! A 1 lb. kitten can/will climb right up yer pants-legs..rappel the length of yer back and sit on yer shoulder to watch the whole proceeding wrasteling match..and lick his chops while doing so! Tip #2! A whole frozen salmon is downright slippery! And cold! Wear gloves! Tip #3! A whole lott'a salmon is going to be spewed out all over yer front yard as the saw chews down thru the fish. This, of course, attracts more cats! I started out with 11 cats/kittens...wound up with 35 cats/kittens..2 'possums, 3 dogs and several curious neighbors! And mind ye..this is even before all the real fun began! More to come..of course. Audie..the oldfart!
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Old 06-30-2007, 02:13 PM
oldfart oldfart is offline
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Okey Dokey now folks we're gittin' into the real nitty gritty of this story. Me and Art has succeded in cutting this salmon into steaks fer the grill and it looks right smart good so far. After all our slicing and diceing what is left is about a 5lb. head. With a heckuva lot of meat attached I might add! And this is where my frugal nature intervened. (ohh yes..another big sigh) Folks..it just didn't seem right to waste any parts of that glorious fish. And mind ye, there was a bunch'a goodies still attached to that salmon head! And so I got another epihany. "lets skewer that head on the rotissiree and cook it off on the grill!"...I exclaimed! Excellent idea...poor execution. Halfway thru the cooking the head fell off the rotisserrie and dropped down into the bowels of the grill. I'm headin' out yonder with a spatula, tongs and a little garden trowel right now to retrieve the remains. Should be something edible left in there yet! I'll let ya'll know! Audie..the frugal one!
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Old 06-30-2007, 02:14 PM
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dcsmith dcsmith is offline
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I don't know how I feel about a man that would allow that many cats around his property. Tip# 1: get rid of the cats.
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Old 06-30-2007, 05:47 PM
lostin90s lostin90s is offline
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Grillen+ beer+ target practice.Great fun >>> I like cats but I like food and beer more. Always a good time. I'll have to look you up one of these days. Maybe we can eat some cat food. Well if you daughters buying. Ha ha
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Old 07-01-2007, 12:35 PM
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As I was reading Audie I was waiting for a recipe for fish head stew. Just brush the ashes off and enjoy.
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:49 PM
oldfart oldfart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcsmith
I don't know how I feel about a man that would allow that many cats around his property. Tip# 1: get rid of the cats.
Hmmmm..well now dcsmith lemme tell ye something about cats! See, cats is kind'a like grits. Down South ya' don't order up grits with breakfast..they just come. Cats is the same way! Now, mind ye, I don't cotton much to cats nither'! Way I figger it is cats (er' any other pets) is kind'a like wimminfolks. I generally avoid em' both on account of I'm right smart tired of cleaning up their "messes!" EH! Anyways..how I come to be around all these cats is a whole 'nuther story. See, sometime ago someone just drove by and launched this ugly mammy cat into my driveway. I rekkin' they figgered it was easier then just shootin' her or lobbin' her into the crick inn'a bag. So, anyways..I wound up with her. Then she had a litter of kittens. Now, mind ye, they was powerful ugly kittens as well!! Half of em' was d.o.a. and t'other half..well..they was a bit "off-plumb" if ye know what I mean. Then someone lobbed another one in my yard. Then another. (big deep sigh here...) Anyways..they just came here on account of no one else would have 'em. Much like me I rekkin'! So I feed 'em just enough to keep them around to cull the mice and rats and snakes. 'Tain't no love here..they got their job and I got mine! Harrumph!!! And I don't baby them none! Now, I do keep an eye on Gump..he's got but 1 eye...and Tabby is completly blind so I make sure he's fed. Not that I have a heart..traded it in fer a little black walnut transplant many years ago! Fearless and Jet, I let into the house just long enough to eat on account of they's the runts of the litter. Soon as they git big enough to stand their own.... they're out'a here!!! An that's the rest of the story! Audie..the oldfart..
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:49 PM
 
 
 
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