Well now folks in another post tj mentioned taking the grandkids fer rides down the hill which I just happen to have in my back yard. And it got me to reminesing. (sp.?) Just a year 'er so ago...in hunting season actually...I happened to aquire a nice fat doe. Now actually, as it was...ahem...I shot her almost in my front yard. Actually... she was just about to step in my front yard as soon as the traffic went by and she crossed the road. O.K....actually she was just about to leave the posted ground on the other side of the road and cross the road into my yard. O.K....O.K.... so mebbe she was actually just a smidgin' inside the posted ground on the other side of the road...but she was considering crossing the road..and coming to my side. Eventually. Hmmmm...O.K. so I am not a patient man. And I don't consider myself an outlaw by any means!! I respect my neighbors boundries and the No Hunting signs. Unless it is snowing heavily..and the deer is standing right beside my mailbox..broadside..and the traffic isn't too bad. And if I happen to be standing on the front porch feeding the cats..while I'm holding that old 30/06. Then..all bets are off. Anyways...I didn't dare field-dress the deer right there alongside the highway. Too obvious. I just wiped the fur and blood off the mailbox and the No Hunting sign and plopped her into the wheel-barrow (brother-in-laws) and scurried across the road and deposited her in the garage. After waiting a suitable time for the neighbors to calm down..and the cats..I headed down to the garage, tagged the deer and hefted her to the rafters to commence the clean-up. Now to make this easy and neat I parked the wheel-barrow underneath her to allow the viscera and such to drop into the wheel-barrow. And then dispose of it by taking it down the hill behind the house and deposit it by the crick for the various critters that enjoy such tidbits. Mind ye..it's a very steep hill! And it ends at the crick! And they's a foot of snow on the ground and more still falling! Ahhhh yes...more to come of course! Audie..the longwinded one!
Well now folks if yer following this longwinded rant let me refresh your memory. Shortly after I aquired the fat doe I filled the wheel-barrow up with giblets and must dispose of them in a timely and efficient manner. The best course of action is to haul them down a 90 degree incline in a foot of new-fallen snow...to the edge of the crick yonder..using the brother-in-laws wheel-barrow. It was an excellent idea....poorly executed. One of the laws of physics is a body in motion remains in motion barring any intervention. Another law of physics is a 50yr. old rotund man probably shouldn't attempt to head down a steep incline with a wheel-barrow full'a deer entrails. Yet another fact of physics is when velocity exceeds the capability of said old geezer...one should leave go of the wheel-barrow handles..at some point in time! Unfortunatly..at my age..my body does not always listen to my brain. At some point in "the descent" the wheel-barrow was going much faster than my legs could compensate for..and my hands were wrapped around the handles of said wheel-barrow in a death grip. Also, for some reason my brain said.."Lift up on the handles of the wheel-barrow and this will slow your speed!!" Not exactly how it happened....actually. Rest assured I did raise the handles of the wheel-barrow FAR above my head..at which point the aforementioned wheel-barrow did stop as the nose of the wheel-barrow bit into the snow! At that point the wheel-barrow became a catapult..and I the projectile. Along with several pounds of....uhhhh..."stuff." The resulting carnage looked much like a B-rated horror movie. I survived the impact...I'm not allowed to borrow the brother-in-laws wheel-barrow any more. When I walked into my home The Missus merely stood slack-jawed in dis-belief. I mumbled..."nicked myself with the skinning knife."..and headed for the shower. Hmmm...mebbe taking the grandkids for a ride down the hill in a wheel-barrow is NOT such a good idea..eh? And that, as they say..is the rest of the story. Audie..the oldfart!
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