Lollipop tomahawks and marshmallow blow-guns..Soondg this one's for you!
Soondg, beins as how yer a Grandfather you might understand this story. Now fer them of ya'll that ain't Grandfathers yet...you'll understand eventually. See, being a Grandfather is something special. I don't like to say "It's a Grandfather-thing...you don't understand." Generally to me that means the author can't verbalize common words. Like.."It's a Jeep/Harley/Ford/Chevy thing." Yaaawwwwn...just tell me and let me figger it out...right? Well, being a Grandfather elevates us mere mortal men (at least in the eyes of our grandchildren) to another level. And hence this story. Not that many years ago, while raising my beloved grandson, Bryce Logan, he and I got bored. Now folks..this is not a good place for a Grandfather and his 3yr. old grandson to be! As a Grandfather I must provide unending entertainment for my grandson. It's THE LAW. We (Grandfathers) will do anything to entertain them (grandchildren) even at the cost of distain from our spouses/children etc.) And so it began. After The Missus and my daughter headed off to WalMart in search of After-Christmas-Bargains...young Bryce Logan and I searched about for ways to entertain ourselves. They left us alone..big mistake! Scrounging about thru the kitchen drawers and various closets we found some of them big red Christmas lollipops! Yeah, them big Santy Claus lollipops! And we had, on hand, a bunch'a them empty cardboard paper tubes from Christmas wrapping paper...and oddly enough a big bag of marshmallows. AND!! We had The Missus cat! A big over-fed-fluffy-white-long-haired-30lb. cat! Now, before anyone calls me cruel..I feed 7 worthless cats every day. I love animals. O.K...got that clear. Now, Bryce and I figgered out that if ya' lick them lollipops a while they can be thrown like miniture tomahawks... and they'll actually stick to a long-haired cat! Go figger! Ahhhh yes! More to come! Audie & Bryce!
Well folks, if yer following this longwinded tale..things just got more better! Now, besides having The Missus cat on hand we also had a gaggle of cockatiels, conures and 1 parrot. Ya'll bird-fanciers know what they are..no explaination needed. AND!...we had them cardboard Christmas wrapping tubes and a big bag of marshmallows. Do ya'll know if ya slobber on a marshmallow for a while it will fit right in them cardboard tubes and with enough wind behind it they fly out of the tubes at unbelieveable velocities?? Yes indeedy! Incredible! Anyways...(sigh) when The Missus and the daughter got home the house was in quite a turmoil. Marshmallows and lollipops was stuck to nearly everything in sight. Birds was flying everywhere and the cat was daubed in pink from head to toe. Young Bryce Logan and I was laughing so hard we couldn't hardly breathe no more! (big sigh here..) I sure miss that cat...and the birds. Well, gotta run. Me and Bryce ayre going out this weekend to ride the lawnmower across the cornfields just across the road! YEEHAAWW! Grandpaws rule! Audie...aka..the oldfart!
I can really relate to the "boy that refuses to grow" up in us. The grandkids bring out all the best of our mischevious nature and drives our kids crazy. My children want to know what happened to the disciplinarian they grew up with. Wonder what they will think when I try the stuff you posted above. We have a big 4th of July party every year, the marshmallow and tube trick should provide much entertainment and make my young ones think I'm the greatest. I'll bet my son in law will be clueless when I fire up his air compressor. Thanks Old Boy for teaching another Old Boy a new trick.
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