The Bar
#1
09-21-2006, 01:26 PM
The Bar
You're sitting in a bar one afternoon drinking an ice-cold beer when the door opens up. The bartender looks to see who it is before you can, then he throws a clean bar towel in the floor in front of you cause he knows what will happen next.
All you can see is the figure of a tall woman standing in the doorway. As the door starts to close slowly, your jaw drops to the floor when you see the red high heels and the long shapely legs they’re on. Your eyes start to go up and then you start to drool very heavily (good thing the bar tender threw the towel down). You see she is wearing a long red dress with a slit up the side so you can see most of her leg.<O
</O
As you work your way up her very shapely body you see how much cleavage she is showing and your tongue rolls out on to the floor. Your eyes do a major bug out of your head and you start to get dizzy from such a beautiful sight: long, flowing blonde hair and a body to match. When you see her face, it stops you cold in your tracks.<O</O
<O</O
It's the face of Kid Rock Swcidvicious.
All you can see is the figure of a tall woman standing in the doorway. As the door starts to close slowly, your jaw drops to the floor when you see the red high heels and the long shapely legs they’re on. Your eyes start to go up and then you start to drool very heavily (good thing the bar tender threw the towel down). You see she is wearing a long red dress with a slit up the side so you can see most of her leg.<O
</OAs you work your way up her very shapely body you see how much cleavage she is showing and your tongue rolls out on to the floor. Your eyes do a major bug out of your head and you start to get dizzy from such a beautiful sight: long, flowing blonde hair and a body to match. When you see her face, it stops you cold in your tracks.<O
</O<O
</OIt's the face of Kid Rock Swcidvicious.
Last edited by SuperSnake; 09-21-2006 at 01:38 PM.
#3
09-21-2006, 02:30 PM
#4
09-22-2006, 06:58 AM
A Horse walks into a Bar....
The Bartender ask.....
Why the Long Face!!!!
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
The Bartender ask.....
Why the Long Face!!!!
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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