Favorite quotes from Tennessee
#1
Favorite quotes from Tennessee
This fella was crackin' jokes at Poppa Don yesterday, and said something about how big Don's ears were.
Poppa Don looked him dead in the eye and said: "You ought to be an apple picker"
He said "Why?"
And Poppa Don said - "Because with a nose that big, you could hook it on a branch and pick with both hands..."
Poppa Don looked him dead in the eye and said: "You ought to be an apple picker"
He said "Why?"
And Poppa Don said - "Because with a nose that big, you could hook it on a branch and pick with both hands..."
#7
Bank fishing quotes from the Mississippi:
"Hell, it ain't that steep..."
"Does it shoal over there?" - "Nope, it just git mighty shallow..."
"Are these all your women?" - "Nope. I'm just borryin' them for tonight..."
"Ketchin' anythang?" - "Yep. Coupla beers..."
"Where's the nearest store?" - "Town."
"What's the best bait to use?" - "Leftovers. The longer they been left, the better..."
"What kinda sinker are you using?" - "AC 124F - they come outta my Dodge truck..." - "Is that the long heat range plugs?" - "YEP"
"Who owns the land we fishin' off of?" - "Hell, who owns the river..."
"You ketch so many fish - are you a professional guide?" - "Is your name Nestor????"
"You're a real smartass aintcha?" - "It beats bein' a dumb*** don't it???"
"Shut up and have another beer..."
"You got somethin' on your line - pray to god it ain't a magnolia tree."
"I could shoot one of them fish, but then I'd have to swim out after it!"
- and the one you hear the most -
"Dang, river sho has changed - ain't it?"
"Hell, it ain't that steep..."
"Does it shoal over there?" - "Nope, it just git mighty shallow..."
"Are these all your women?" - "Nope. I'm just borryin' them for tonight..."
"Ketchin' anythang?" - "Yep. Coupla beers..."
"Where's the nearest store?" - "Town."
"What's the best bait to use?" - "Leftovers. The longer they been left, the better..."
"What kinda sinker are you using?" - "AC 124F - they come outta my Dodge truck..." - "Is that the long heat range plugs?" - "YEP"
"Who owns the land we fishin' off of?" - "Hell, who owns the river..."
"You ketch so many fish - are you a professional guide?" - "Is your name Nestor????"
"You're a real smartass aintcha?" - "It beats bein' a dumb*** don't it???"
"Shut up and have another beer..."
"You got somethin' on your line - pray to god it ain't a magnolia tree."
"I could shoot one of them fish, but then I'd have to swim out after it!"
- and the one you hear the most -
"Dang, river sho has changed - ain't it?"
Last edited by Greywolf; 04-01-2006 at 03:43 PM.
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#9
no no I know what Im doing I swear.
Yea......yea what am I thinking these are the mushrooms you can eat I swear.
*officer looks at the truck and sees blood and a bit of grass chunks and mud and sees a deer in the bed*
Officer: How you doin today
Driver:Good...
Officer: How'd ya get the blood on the grill?
Driver:I was just drivin and it came outta no where *the deer that is*
Officer: Where did the grass and mud come from?
Driver:He tried to run.
Officer: *pauses* *breathes due to loss of words* Sir I need you to step outta the vehical.
Driver:*as he is being walked to the car* I didnt say it was in the road I just said I saw him outta no where.
Yea......yea what am I thinking these are the mushrooms you can eat I swear.
*officer looks at the truck and sees blood and a bit of grass chunks and mud and sees a deer in the bed*
Officer: How you doin today
Driver:Good...
Officer: How'd ya get the blood on the grill?
Driver:I was just drivin and it came outta no where *the deer that is*
Officer: Where did the grass and mud come from?
Driver:He tried to run.
Officer: *pauses* *breathes due to loss of words* Sir I need you to step outta the vehical.
Driver:*as he is being walked to the car* I didnt say it was in the road I just said I saw him outta no where.
#10
An Italian guy and a redneck are driving down a country road. They come to a side road and the street sign has a yellow end on the right side of it - the driver says:
"Is that a 'U' turn?"
Passenger says:
"Nope, my turn is a quarter mile further. You can tell by the reflectors at the end of the driveway connection..."
"Is that a 'U' turn?"
Passenger says:
"Nope, my turn is a quarter mile further. You can tell by the reflectors at the end of the driveway connection..."