I was next to the garage so I suppose this counts:
My friends and I love canoeing. I needed a trailer for the 4 canoes. The real ones cost big bucks for such a silly rare-use item. Light bulb coems on, build it myself. Excellent idea. Where do I get the frame from... hmmm. My uncle just donated his old pop-up trailer to the farm as a "project" he said. Which meant his local dump didn't want it. Frame found. Now to clean off the rotted trailer. Those support arms that fold up on the side are SPRING LOADED. I've never used a pop up so I had no idea. I thought it was some kind of gigantic scissor jack device. So I'm pulling on one of those things and the arm starts to swing towards me as I rip out the retaining screws... Ah, excellent, just swing it out and rip it off. I bend it straight out from the camper and start pulling towards me. BAM!!!!!!! Apparently a few minutes later my brother comes looking for me and in the haze I hear "Holy Moses! He killed himself!" The top mount on the arm had broken lose but the bottom one hung on. That arm brought itself straight down on my head opening a "minor" hole and putting a fairly good sized dent in my head. By the grace of God, the end with the mounting plate didn't catch me, just the middle of the arm. Sadly, the scar is only visible if I shave my head. What, I ask you, is the point of a scar hidden by hair?!!?
I just thought of another one.
My grandfather bought a ride around lawnmower... And then I got ahold of it. How does a 12 yr old clean up the yard? By hooking up the wagon to the mower. Hmmm, gotta make sure that rope is tightly tied to the handle... yank, ya... BAM!!!! the wagon handle catches me straight in the mouth because some idiot tied the rope to the base of the handle instead of the end to be attatched to the mower. One of these teeth is different from all the rest.
Yall have seen the cartoons where the toon steps on the business end of the shovel or rake.....
We had a rake out at teh dog pen that the handle had broken so it wa only about a 3' handle now, or 30" or somewhere aroudn crotch height......
\
Anyway I stepped on it, they do fly up towards your face with a great bit of force I may add, and when they are crotch height it nails you right in the jewels......
Don't ask me how I know.......
__________________ I LIKE FIRE!
Warning: Any advice I give--Don't ask me how I know!
Putting rubber to pavement with an 06' 5.4L F-150 supercab 4wd XLT. HOO-RAH!!
the power company supervisor was standing next to me, commenting on how i was doing such a clean neat job, and assuring me there was no power in the line, it was not hooked up to the pole yet. what we did not know, as he said that, his men were hooking the 440 volt 3 phase up to the transformers. the panel blew, knocking us both out.
Sorta shop related...my dad was at work one day and cut through a newer building where the carpenters were transforming one large open building into several smaller offices. He stopped to talk to one of the engineers, who was quite worried about the electrical lines in the building, the electrical guys didn't seem to know quite where they were. One of the carpenters hacking a part outta the wall cut into a 10,000 volt main power line, blowing him clear across the room. Lucky for him, the saw took the majority of it, blew it to peices (obviously) and left him in the hospital with burns for quite some time. My dad brought the blade home, we still have it.
I had to post this its not shop related but still funny....
A good freind of mine told me that he went to pinch off a loaf one day... "nice image right" well He sees this roach running around while hes sitting there. SOooo he grabs a can of raid he had nearby and commenced to spraying.. Welll the roach went into the hot water heater closet across from the toilet. He opens the door and sees the roach sitting there unphased by the raid; so he coninues to spray more.. Then suddenly the piolet light caught the raid and it flashed in his face . His hair was singed bad....... Man that took me nearly twenty minutes to write I still laugh at that ...
now that is pretty funny. wish i coulda seen the look on his face when he noticed the pilot light, and al that nice aerosol crap he sprayed everywhere. but, did he get the roach?
__________________
78 bronco: wheeled hard, about to go under knife for lil 4 inch lift.
It was 1969, I was driving the most wonderful car in the world - it was mine and all $400 of it was paid off! After a long day of pounding over logging roads she suddenly lost power and I was forrced to limp home in 3rd and 2nd gears. No. 1 cylinder had very little compression so I pulled off the valve cover to discover a broken intake valve spring. Phoned my Dad who told me to have it towed over to his workshop. Have it towed, that would be unmanly and insulting! I'll drive it over.... But first, what if the spring broke more and some pieces of it got down into the sump. In one of those moments of brilliance (that are not even close to intelligence, never mind about genius), I decided to take the spring out and simply tie up the valve with some strong wire. Got about a quarter mile and BANG - PTEWY - CLATTER, CLATTER - CLATTER!!!
After the quickest engine turn off and panic stop in modern automotive history, I discovered a huge pimple sticking up in the front part of the valve cover. I can still hear The Old One laughing when we got the cover off to find the valve guide embedded up in the cover. Well, the wire let the valve escape and it was sucked into the cylinder where it had a 'discussion' with the top of the piston. I guess when the piston came up it must have grabbed the guide and pushed it out with amazing muzzle velocity. See the picture for the results of the previously mentioned 'discussion'.
Now I know this is impossible but I cleaned up the scratched wall of the cylinder and replaced the valve, the guide and the piston to drive away OK. Once again the Old Man just shook his head, he said the engine had to be finished. Gee, was I ever sold on that old Volvo 544 - those Swedes must use reindeer antlers in their steel - pretty tough material!
I had just purchased my 76 F100 3 on the tree and decided it needed an oil change. Took it to Jiffy Lube because I didn't have a garage at the time. I hand over the keys and sit in the waiting room. As I'm reading the three month old Road and Track, I see my F100 rolling backwards across the parking lot toward a retaining wall with at least a 10 foot drop. I run out the door, jump through the passenger door, and hit the brake with my hand. The Jiffy Lube employees all run outside and ask, "what happened?" I in turn asked who moved the truck. Some guy says he moved it up in line. So I ask him why he didn't set the brake or put it in gear. He replied with, "the shifter is on the column, I thought it was an automatic." I asked the knucklehead if he pushed the clutch to put it in gear. He said "yes" and I just shook my head. Got a free oil change though.
Everyone knows that when an ice storm hits the Texas panhandle every road turns into a skating rink. The plan in my father's house was to keep a pair of studded tires mounted on a spare set of wheels for each vehicle and as all the vehicles were Dodge / Plymouth 5 lugs it became an easier task.
I came skating home the 5 blocks from high school on sudden ice storm slicked streets. Knowing I needed to drive another 6 miles to my job shortly I changed in the grubs and quickly popped rear end of my 64 Dodge 330 into the air inside the garage with the BIG door open.
Let me tell all that haste not only makes waste, it also makes embarrassment!
The 64 mid size(buy today's standards MONSTER BOAT) was back end up, BUT
trying to save those precious moments I didn't block the front wheels - MISTAKE! Butt flat on concrete slab and legs stretched out in front of me, I pushed on the 4-way tire tool as only can be done by a 17 year old with and addiction to weight lifting and shot putting. The car swayed upon the jacks, but I went on. 1st tire changed! COOL!
1 hour and 45 minutes till due at work - I'll make it with EASE! 2nd tire right off! All the better! 2nd tire on - hitting every stripe and speed control is on W.F.O.! I give the next to last lug final quick snap and grunt knowing I'd finish tighten when the tires were touching ground.
POP!!!
The car rolls forward and off the jacks! I start moving, but the car was falling faster. I gasp and then moments later understand my grand luck. I was UNHARMED - but trapped. The studs of the recap tire were pinning my two size too large jeans to the floor with only the slightest blood on one jean leg. Of all the terrible things which could have happened, I was only trapped...
I then looked up at the Coke clock on the garage wall and see Dad wouldn't be home until 11:30 same as my Mom! Damn - "It's only 3:00PM Ah, Little Brother - NO, he's got B-Ball practice won't be home until 6:30 or so. I'm now getting cold!
I lay back and and recall how loose the jeans are! "WOW - I'm near good as free". I undo the belt and start to shimmy and slip out of the jeans. "IT is going to Work!" Alright, clear of the jeans and standing - only 3:15!
"I won't even be late to work" I scream aloud. Hear that foreboding dum-dum-dum music in the background? Standing there in my (now afraid dirty) BVD's Jan - the 2-CUTE gal & her girl friends pick that moment to come walking past the open garage door - GADS! Damn those brown new racing stripes!
At least I wasn't late to work - but the police did come back and talk to me. Guess today I'd be a "sex offender", not just simply Mister Dumb Wrench.
OK, it did take 2 stitches for the hole in the thigh and I still wonder if the cops have yet stopped laughing??
richard
The luckiest day of my life:
As usual, the morning was frantic, getting to work on time and etc. I drove a large box truck delivering high dollar copiers,and had several strapped in the back, as i quickly swung into the busiest 7-11 on our block and backed into a parking space for a quick getaway. After returning with my morning cup of java, i find myself standing in a empty parking spot, thinking "where's my truck." As my eyes looked up, passed the multitude of people, cars and four(4) gas pumps, I saw it up on the curb, inches away from a five foot diameter oak tree. The space between those gas pumps and that tree where so small, i don't think i could have drove it there any better. As i said before, the luckiest day of my life, nothing could effect me the rest of that day.
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now that is pretty funny. wish i coulda seen the look on his face when he noticed the pilot light, and al that nice aerosol crap he sprayed everywhere. but, did he get the roach?
