In my older Mercury Mountaineer it was kind of hidden back in the little storage space in the wall of the cargo area (where the reset for the fuel pump was if I remember correctly). There was a door you removed and I think the jack was also in there.
I would believe that if you took your vin # to the Dealer that they would be able to give you the code. There has to be a way to get it. There may also be a way to program your own no. into it. Won't hurt to ask.