Hey all,

I'm new to this site so bear with me please.

I was just born yesterday at Miami Regional Hospital and this is my first truck.

I noticed yesterday that my truck seems to have run out of gas and was wondering where I can get some more.

I researched extensively on the internet for some sort of mail order but all I could find were fuel additives and oils. I also found gasoline manufactures in Texas and other distant states, but I can't drive there to ask them for gas because my truck won't run.

Is it possible to run my truck on something else? Perhaps, hair spray or something? Hair spray is pretty flamable right? We used to set ants on fire with hair spray aerosole cans when I was a kid, which was just yesterday.

Anyone have any suggestions??

Thanks all.

Tom

 

It would be something if we could pee right into our tank. (Am I really saying this?) That we could run our trucks on pee. But that would take a lot of beers to fill a 25 gallon tank.

I wonder if our pee could vary in price like gas does? Of course, we would have to charge our pee first.

 

I guess the price of the pee would be determined by it's alcahol content from whatever it was you were drinking the night before. I guess a low grade 87 octane type pee would be a result of drinking Schlitz or Bush beer and the 93 octane type pee would be from drinking 151 Rum Runners all and body shots and Long Island Iced Tea's.

I wonder how we would market that? Or how we would set up a dealer network and distribution facility? Or how about.....how do we manufacture, or "harvest", enough pee to distribute accross the nation?

 

You need to hire probably about 15,000 people. Make it 1st shift, 2nd shift and 3rd shift so that 5,000 people for each shift. That's all they do, just drink and pee. You start out drinking Old Milfunky and work your way up to rum 151. May take years for this. The goal, your last 5 years, is to drink nothing but moonshine.

Of course we would have to think about health insurance and so forth. The building(s) need to be sectioned off for the different grades of pee.

Maybe start out with Shirley Temples instead. Then go up a level to Old Milfunky and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

 

What a disgusting and useless conversation......I like it

I'm surprised this thread wasn't closed by Brian or Ken yet. Maybe they just haven't seen it

 

Moose pee is VERY high in octane, and gets you more power to the wheels too! ...It's just friggin' impossible to aquire.

 

Unless you live in Canada eh?

 

One of the most dangerous jobs in the world is crab fishing.

Probably the one that rates right beside it is the guy who is holding a jar under the moose to get the pee.

 

I don't think I could bear standing that close to a "Shlong" THAT big, even it is an animal.......I think I'll go with the Crab Fishing instead !!!!!!

 

LOL!!! I never thought of that. Holy cow, that thing might come back and give you a whiplash. I wonder if a moose pees like a cow? If so, you need more that a jar. A fifty gallon drum should do.

BTW: Why are we still posting on this? This is ridiculous...and funny.

 

Like I said before, I think Brian is on vacation, otherwise I think he would have said something by now.

I was thinking about dropping alkaseltzer in my gas tank, to increase it's oxygen level with the bubbly stuff. As long as my tank doesn't explode like a Seagull's stomach after they eat one.

Or, stuffing Joe in my tank. I figure all the talking he does might add to the increased oxygen levels as well

Just kiddin' Joe!!!

Tom

 

"I don't think I could bear standing that close to a "Shlong" THAT big, even it is an animal.......I think I'll go with the Crab Fishing instead !!!!!!"

What if the moose had crabs? Would that be like killing two birds with one stone? Anyways good luck on finding urine for the truck. It's too bad they don't run on crap. Everybody seems to be full of it tonight.

Bunting.....

 

Uh, what kind of traps would you use for Horse Shlong Crab Fishing??? Don't they already have a competition for that? I thought I saw that once on ESPN.

 

No, that was on ESPN2. Wasn't really a trap either. It was a guy dressed in green tights and a long green jacket with a big green hat. He was playing a flute and walking. While he was walking, the craps were following behind him in single file. I think his name was *******.

 

******* the fiddle player...ouch