1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting construction barrels. Bonus points are awarded for getting out of your car and moving the barrels.

2. Turn signals provide clues as to your next move in the road battle, so never use them.

3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you are going. If you do, the space will be filled be somebody else putting you in a more dangerous situation.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the less your chance is of getting hit.

5. The car with the most extensive bodywork automatically has the right of way. (Remember no-fault insurance. He might not have as much to lose as you.)

6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your anti-lock braking system kicks in and gives you a relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

7. Construction signs are carefully positioned to tell you about road work ahead after you have just passed the last opportunity to exit, but just before the traffic begins to back up.

8. The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information, but just to tell you what time it is and to make Denver look progressive.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway. Passing on the shoulder is encouraged; that's why they're paved.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make Denver look as if it conforms to other state policies; these are intended only as suggestions and are actually unenforceable.

11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic on I-25.

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the unlucky breakdown victim get mugged.

14. Learn to swerve abruptly. Denver is the home of the very high-speed slalom driving thanks to Colorado DOT, who puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes. Parts of truck tires are left on new highways where potholes have not been established yet.

15. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Denver residents notify the Colorado DOT where exits should have been built.


16. It is considered correct in Denver to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. Our city is founded upon such traditions.

17. Seeking eye contact with another driver automatically revokes your right of way.

18. Giving the finger may invite armed retaliation. Be sure that your rifle is on the gun rack in the rear window and visible rather than lying on the seat. Also make sure the rifle is in range to pick up easily.

 

HA!! Some of the best "rules" I've seen lately! And you know, I'm considering transfer to the UCCS campus for next year.. are the Colorado Springs drivers anything like those of Denver?

 

That sure sounds a lot like the Central New York area. Of course I've seen the same thing in Cleveland and Atlanta. SLOW DOWN a little and enjoy the drive. Maybe if more of these people drove Ford trucks they could enjoy the drive more ???

 

That is just too funny!! First time I drove thru Denver (I70 to I25)I began to understand that line from "Wolfcreek Pass" - 'like gas thru a funnel or eggs thru a hen'

 

just like in winnipeg! exactly!

 

Even the northern end of Colorado is not immune to such perverted drivers. Strangely enough, while on a recent trip to California in the Venice Beach area, we encountered many courteous drivers. That can only mean things are getting really bad around here when California drivers seem compassionate in comparison.

 

I think most of that also applies here in fla







Wiz

An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!

http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html

 

Wiz - ya beat me to the Fla. comment. The one thing he missed though that is all to common here in the South is "How it's mandatory to pull out in front of oncoming traffic and do 25 while the traffic is doing 60".

Carlene

 

the ruts in the grass offramps sure does remind me of my time in houston. course with the big bronco you can use them or make new ones.


BROKEBRONCO

 

>15. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just >follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone >else. This is how Denver residents notify the Colorado DOT where >exits should have been built.

I've seen them here but when MIN DOT sees these ruts they throw up the concrete barriers or some kind of fencing.

 

If you have Texas plates be sure to cover them up or find a fake plate from another state. This perventive measure will ensure that you are not at the recieving end of unprovoked fingers, brake checks, cut offs, and all other forms of road rage while driving through the state of CO.

Chris

 

Sounds like S E Michigan/Detroit to me. I have to make a couple of comments about another area. I was going to start a thread, but this one works. I-75 from Lexington, Ky to the Atlanta area apparently was designed so drivers could stay in the left lane doing 5-10 UNDER the speed limit and flip you off when you try to coax them to move over, or they move to the right, but immediately speed up and get in front of you again, just to slow back down. Now, this isn't all drivers, but the majority of the ones committing the offense have either Georgia or Tennessee plates, with a few from Florida. I drive from Michigan to Atlanta at least once a week, and it is getting worse. It isn't that there are so many of them, it's just one at a time. By the time you finally get around the idiot, another one takes his place 5 miles up the road. I would think that the sight of 30 cars passing by 10-20 mph on the right is enough of an indication that the wrong lane is being used, but it doesn't sink in. We have a few drivers like that in Michigan, but they are usually black and trying to get back at white man by bucking the system. In Michigan, that kind of driving is against the law.

Just to be sure there are no misunderstandings, I want to let you know I am not complaining about Ga, Tn, or Fla drivers as a whole. Just a few F it up for all of us, including the drivers in those states. I am sure some of you have comments about Michigan or Detroit drivers also, and they are probably well deserved.

 

Reminds me of the "Unofficial State Speed Limit" in Oklahoma -

"As fast as you can go, until you get caught"...

 

>Reminds me of the "Unofficial State Speed Limit" in Oklahoma
>-
>
>"As fast as you can go, until you get caught"...

greywolf this is exactly like the transcanada highway, #1. you drive 115, the speed is 100 and everyone including motorhomes, old people and turtles pass you

 

Austin, Texas................only they DONT know how to reach the speed limit......(yea I know its more than two words)