Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

 

hehe, cant be mad if we were ALL made fun of...

 

That's good, but Catholics are using light bulbs at mass now, I think anyway. Hmmmm....

 

lol

 

Yes, but aren't they shaped like candles?

 

Once the new bulb is in place - is it considered to be "reincarnated"?

 

Yes. It's a very illuminating experiance.

 

Now that I think about it, yes they are. I guess you got me after all.

 

Bubba's pickin on me agin, Ma!

 

I think Carlene went shopping or something. But when she gets home, she'll probably.....

Be laughing like heck!

 

Personally I'd rather laugh about this stuff since we already know this is a battle that can't be won. On the other hand, when the opportunity arises, one must not shirk his/her duty.

 

hey, im a Jesus Freak bible thumper, and i think that was really funny, and btw, your not makin fun of me :P I go to a non-denominational church :P

 

Hey Theo, you forgot the Salvationists.

You should know them, They are part of the Salvation Army.

Shall I guess or will you fill me in ?

 

Let me guess- you only use "generic" lightbulbs, right?

 

LOL I use the brightest halogen bulbs possible, Jesus says to let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and praise our Father in Heaven.

btw, its not by works that we're saved, but by faith in Jesus Christ.