Canadian eh!


As a fledgling Canadian, you will have to be extra vigilant. There area lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction:


"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "**** disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!"


If the people you are talking to nods sympathetically, they are one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.


The passage cited above contains no fewer than 19 different Canadianisms.

In order:


> pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working.

> mickey: A small bottle of booze (13 oz) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.)

> C.C.: Canadian Club, a brand of rye. Not to be confused with "hockey stick," another kind of Canadian Club.

> beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians.

> skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers.

> muskeg: Boggy swampland.

> duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and
english.

> deke: Used as a verb, it means "to fool an opponent through skillful misdirection." As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory constructions, such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an impressive
display of physical dexterity employing misdirection and guile."

> chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians.

> Mountie: Canadian icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart. Always get their man! (See also Pepper spray, uses of.)

> snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)

> ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness.

> impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective (the alternative adjectival from of "impaired" being "pissed to the gills").

> S.O.L.: **** outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament.

> Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front. And back!

> toque: Canada's official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex appeal as a pair of Stanfields.

> chippy: Behaviour that is inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find offense; from "chip on one's shoulder." (See Western Canada)

> **** disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur.


According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "**** disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a **** disturber, and you will do fine.)


Sorry, eh.

 

I figured I would share this with everyone so I copied the thread to here .

Enjoy!

 

If I understand more than half of the terms does that make me half Canadian?

We use a lot of those same terms down here in Kansas...

 

Yep, it's contagious !

Thanks for the phone call this morning Eric !

 

Maybe we should also mention Tim Hortons.
And we could call each other hosers.

 

Well if you dont want to get a deer in the headlight look, dont ever come down south (United States) I didnt understand a word you said cept gettin a DUI on yer sled. I reckon that yall would probably throw us back a deer in the headlights look if we went up yonder. But....its too cold up yonder and my thermometer hangs a little closer to the ground

Josh

Josh

 

Cold ?

It's been 90*F for the last 5 days.... where I live.

In the Winter, Most of Canada is warmer than New York State, or the North part of Michigan.

Come on up and join the other Merkin's.

 

Profanity Removedis a merkin????? Yeah I have been to Canada, I have some family up yonder. They live in Alberta. Going up I saw some beautiful country. And I got an uncle in Nova Scotia. Moosehead is alright but they tend to scrape a bit...OUCH. :-staun

Josh

 

hey, that's the best part of can na da...... lol. nova scotia....

 

Well I read once that there was a thing like fake pubic hair that was called a merkin, but I think he is talking about the merkins LBJ used to address in his state of the Union speeches as "My Fellow Merkins".
Byr the way, does anybody in east Texas know what if any channel to find the Red Green show on? It is kind of like The Man Show with out all the ****, only a lot funnier.

 

Huh?

 

Theo the correct term would be "eh?"

 

so if I'm listening to a Stompin' Tom tape, telling a Jimmy Flynn joke and downing a bottle of screech, would that almost qualify as honorary canadian?

 

That depends.....are you sitting on your chesterfield when you're doing that?

 

That is really good! Take off!