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  #1  
Old 05-16-2014, 01:59 PM
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Do i need a lawyer?

Not sure about some legal proceedings here so I thought I would throw this out to the vast world of good advice that is the Ford truck forum!
A month ago my son (19 years old) was kidnapped by a whacko that was all drugged up and crazy- he managed to get away from him after 12 hours. The guy was arrested and is still in jail awaiting trial, my son is still all jumpy and can't stand being in a crowd, being around strangers or being alone (still trying to talk him into counciling) anyway, we got a call from the victims advocate yesterday who said he needs to go be interviewed by the defense attorney of the accused guy- she said I am welcome to sit in on it. Does this sound like normal procedure to you guys? My son has already given his statement at least 4 times to different detectives and I feel that the defense attorneys only reason for wanting to talk to him before the next court date would be to harass, badger and intimidate him into changing his story. Any thoughts or suggestions?
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Old 05-16-2014, 02:14 PM
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I would have a lawyer present if it were my son.
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Old 05-16-2014, 02:46 PM
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I would have a lawyer present if it were my son.
I second that, but he may not be required to attend...

A lawyer would be able to know if he does..
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Old 05-16-2014, 02:49 PM
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Yes get a lawyer.
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Old 05-16-2014, 03:19 PM
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If you ever have to ask..."Do I need a lawyer?" You need a lawyer.
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Old 05-16-2014, 05:58 PM
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Thanks for all the input- I called around and it turns out my son had it wrong- its the DA office for the prosecution that wants to talk to him. They went on to say that the defense might contact us but that we are not required to talk to them, and if we do that we can have someone from the DA's office present.
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Old 05-16-2014, 07:26 PM
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i wish you and son all the best
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Old 05-16-2014, 08:03 PM
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I'm Glad its the DA . He has
no obligation to talk to the defense ..
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:43 AM
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That turned out better than when you originally posted.

Your son is suffering from PTSD and getting him in to talk to someone is so vitally important right now. His life has been forever changed but a good doc can give him the coping skills he needs.

Best of luck to and your son.
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Old 05-17-2014, 11:22 PM
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Thanks for all you good thoughts and advice- yeah I agree about the ptsd - he quit his job the day after it happened - he worked the night shift at a 7-11 by himself and couldn't make himself go back- he was kidnapped from the parking lot there after his shift one night. He said he didn't even want to go for a hair cut yesterday because he wasn't alright with a stranger standing behind him to cut his hair! Pretty bad - hope it gets better with some counciling.
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Old 05-18-2014, 08:52 AM
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I don't mean to inject any bit of negativity or insensitivity here but the thought "hope its better with counseling........" needs a bit of tweaking to better serve this unfortunate young man.

IMHO too often the word "hope" is one of the weakest words in English--to me it seems its easier to relinquish our own ability to positively effect an outcome, "hoping" it gets better without any action on our part. I believe if we don't actively get in, dig deep and exert our maximum effort, that we rely only on "hope" we're not likely to be satisfied with ourselves, wishing we'd done more at the time.

I completely understand your son's hesitation and that can be worked through with counseling. A good counselor will encourage him to re-emerge into the living word, understand and recognize his anxieties as well as giving him the mental tools to deal with them on his own. I'm optimistic he'll be better in time with help and support along with a trained pro in this sort of thing.

Sorry if I got off track or this offends---its certainly not intended that way. In fact I soooooooo "hope" not!

Speedy recovery to your son RHW!
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Old 05-18-2014, 01:53 PM
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how much i hoped for in my day
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:26 PM
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Document the PTSD immediately for evidence of victim impact during sentencing and for any potential lawsuits as there is every reason to clean out the wacko of any current and future assets.

Get complete wacko documentation and after the trial consider plastering his pic and info in appropriate places on the internet so he will be driven away from the local community. Get GOOD pictures of wacko by having a third party take them as wacko enters or leaves court.

Avoiding areas with large hostile demographic (I didn't define those so no one has the slightest business taking offense) populations will remain a good idea, as may seeking a career (perhaps the military) which instills confidence in stressful situations and gets him far away from trigger hoods. Self-defense training such as combat martial arts could be another way to focus and improve personal power, for after all the solution to crime is a dead perp on the scene.

The way to master fear is to master yourself, and self-mastery has no downside.
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Old 05-20-2014, 07:45 AM
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The way to master fear is to master yourself, and self-mastery has no downside.
What a great idea or thought for all of us to carry each day---wonderful idea!
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:43 PM
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If you ever have to ask..."Do I need a lawyer?" You need a lawyer.
That's exactly what I came here to say. I'm married to one.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:43 PM
 
 
 
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