Fork in the road.

 

fell off the wagon.

 

If a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in a day in a half, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The answer is false of course, because there are no bones in chocolate milk, and you can't row a cement canoe at 70 mph.

I can't remember where I even heard that one.. long time ago. don't even have a clue what it means, just know that no matter which way you look at it, it doesn't make any sense.

 

Ya can't rollerskate through a buffalo heard

 

Fat chance!

Shooting fish in a barrel.

Shot in the dark. (may have done that one already, but too lazy to check)

 

blind in one eye, can't see out of the other.

 

Can't hit the broad side of a barn with the doors closed.

 

Yo Mama....... as in Yo Mama is so..

 

That's not what she said!!

 

He Said She Said

 

Crack of dawn.

Crack down.

Plummers butt.

Open the door a crack.

Cracks me up.

 

If it ain't fixed don't break it--- or is it if it ain't broke don't fix it - or if you're broke you can't fix it.

 

naw its... If you can't fix it, don't break it!

 

If its broke buy a new one?

 

If you broke it, you fix it.

If you break it, you buy it.