Car Acronyms

Acura
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents

All Cars Usually Require Adjustment

Any Child Understands Real Automobiles

Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents

Audi

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Beetle

By Everyone’s Experience, They Last Eternally!

Battered Everywhere; Expect To Lose Engine

BMW

Babbling Mechanical Wench

Beastly Monstrous Wonder

Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels

Beautiful Mechanical Wonder

Big Money Waste

Big Money Works

Born Moderately Wealthy

Break My Windows

Broken Money Waster

Broken Monstrous Wonder

Brutal Money Waster

Bumbling Mechanical Wretch

Busted My Wallet

Buick

Big Ugly Import Car Killer

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

Camaro

Can’t America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet

Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

Chevy

Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

Chrysler

Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs

Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative’s

Citroen

Crummy Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nebishes

Dodge

Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere

Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere

Dangerous On Days Gears Engage

Death Overcomes Driver’s Generous Ego

Fiat

Failure in Automotive Technology

Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

Fix It Again Tony?

Fix It All the Time

Ford

First On Race Day

Finest on Reliability & Durability

Fine Off Road Driver

Fastest On Race Day

GMC

Garage Man’s Companion

Generally Mediocre Cars

Got Mechanic Coming

Honda

How Odd, No Damn Acceleration

Hold Overs Not Doing Anything

Jaguar

Junk Always Going Under At Repair shop

Jeep

Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts

Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole

Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts

Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts

Jumps Everything Ever Parked

JUST Enough Engine Power?

Mazda

Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly

Mercedes

Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings

Mopar

Most Often Passed At Races

Mostly Old Parts And Rust

Mostly Old Paint And Rust

Most Original Parts Already Replaced

Mitsubishi’s Over Priced American Replicas

Nissan

Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises

Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now

Oldsmobile

Oh Look, Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot’s Leaking Everything

Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel

Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

Plymouth

Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood!

Pontiac

Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac

Porsche

Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions

Phased Out Racer-Still Can’t Hold Engine

Please Overlook Really Smutty Cardboard Horrible Engine

Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

Rabbit

Replace A Beetle? Boy, It Tried

Racy? Ain’t! Bouncy, Bad Itty-bitty Toy!

Renault

Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash

Saab

Swedish Automobile – Always Broken

Toyota

Taking Our Yen Out — Thanks All

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

Triumph

The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered Hotrod

Vanagon

Via Another Name: A Go-cart On Nerve

Volkswagen

Vehicle Owner’s List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum, Gum, Engine (NOT!)

VW

Very Worthless

 

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